Matthew 19:1-11

It is high time that you are placed front and center.  Not as ones to pity because we do not have husbands, but ones to be encouraged in our newly founded position to render undivided devotion to the Lord that our counterpart sisters crave. 

I know that there is this ongoing debate as to whether it is better to be single or married.  I am also aware that single women crave marriage, and some married women crave singlehood.  What is that saying “always seeking but never satisfied.”  Well, today, I want to end the debate and offer Scriptural support for my Virtuous Single Sisters.  I take that back.  Jesus, Himself, offers spiritual support to the single women of God. 

In Matthew 19:1-11, Jesus is confronted by the Pharisees to challenge whether divorce was lawful because Moses had allowed them to do so.  Jesus explicitly said to them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.”  There is a lesson here for us as we consider picking up our lives after an unwanted divorce or a destructive marriage to men with hard hearts.  You may also find yourself suddenly single because of the death of your spouse.  Whatever circumstances left you single, I have hope for you today.

Hope for the Hurting Ministries will resume Zoom Meeting honoring single women of God.  It is called “Single Series” and begins Wednesday, January 4 202..  This is your personal invitation to join us on the journey to becoming single and satisfied. 


Our theme Scripture Matthew 19:1-11 will be studied as well as the life of a single woman Jesus met and ministered to in John 4.  The soon-to-be-released book entitled “The End of Forever” brings this account to life.

She is gathering water from the well in the middle of the day. She is covered with veils and scarves to conceal her from not only the scorching mid-day sun but a great cover for her shame. See, she has taken several trips down Divorce Drive (5 times actually) and met up with some of the same obstacles of religious myths, personal opinions, and unkind principles we face today. But were we to follow her entire story, we would find that Jesus took a delightful detour on His journey to reveal her destiny of finding valuable service to His kingdom. He did not condemn her for the many times her “forever ended” but filled her with the living water of hope. So much so that she left her water jar exchanging physical water for spiritual renewal. She decided her testimony did not end with her troubles. She ran into town, no longer veiled with shame but bursting with words of hope, talking about a man who was able to reach in and heal her searching soul. Scripture says that many became believers at her words (John 4:41). She found she still had value (as a single woman) to the kingdom of God and so can we. Since God is not a respecter of persons, there is hope for us.

“The End of Forever” Phyllis Mccolister, author

After the Samaritan Woman’s encounter with Jesus, her focus shifted from seeking a mate to advancing the Kingdom of God and witnessing of the goodness of God. Scripture says many people believed on Jesus because of her changed life and testimony.  Jesus even extended His stay to preach to all the people she had witnessed to.  My goodness, My Virtuous Single Sisters, this is what God can do with a single-focused mind and heart.  Our lives will bring greater glory to God in undivided devotion to Him.  Paul adds his wisdom to this discussion as well:

An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord (1 Corinthian 7:34,35).

Now let me be clear here.  I am not advocating remaining single forever, nor am I indicating that marriage is a burden.  I am clearly encouraging us to seek contentment in whatever state you may find yourself today.  God will change our circumstances at the right time, in the right way, with the right man. 

Tony Evans in the book entitled “Kingdom Single” outlines a few questions to ask ourselves to ensure that our motives and prayers for marriage are not selfish ones.  The questions also keeps Jesus first and foremost in our desires:

  • Is what I’m praying for going to benefit others?
  • Does my request, if granted, bring glory to God?
  • How will this request advance God’s kingdom agenda on Earth?
  • Will the answer to my prayer equip me to serve God more fully?

Evans, Tony. Kingdom Single: Living Complete and Fully Free (p. 115). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2018.

Wow!!  What a self-evaluative list.  In our upcoming Zoom Meetings, we will explore these questions and many others.

I look forward to seeing you all there.


COMING SOON!!! “The End of Forever” – a book written by Phyllis McColister to encourage, educate and empower divorced and separated women to find restoration and healing in Christ, realizing their intrinsic value to His Kingdom.  

Visit again for more Christian Mental Health tips. Until then, remember your worth is far above rubies and learn to laugh without fear of the future (Proverbs 31:25)

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